Today's tips revolve around that ever important first scene (but can be applied to all scenes).
Okay, you've finished your first scene. You feel like it grabs the reader's attention, sets up the story nicely and has the perfect tone for the story. Before you move on, go back to the scene and fill in these questions:
1) What is predictable in this scene? (You have to answer this. I promise you that SOMETHING in this scene is predictable). Some hints: is your character responding predictably? Is the result of their actions predictable? Is the obstacle that appears predictable? Is the setting predictable? Is the conclusion of the scene predictable? What about the cliff hanger? Read the scene five times and I promise you'll see things each time that you hadn't seen on the last pass.
2) What is cliche about this scene? By "cliche," I'm not talking about "dead as a doornail." I'm referring to larger picture cliches about your characters, your story, your setting, etc. Some hints: is your hero a cop who gets in a fight with his mean boss? Does the heroine worry that she's fat? Does your hero comfort your heroine with a squeeze of her arm? What have you written that you've seen in other stories? Again, you will have to dig deep and go through the scene more than once before the cliches show up. Since this is the first scene, really pay attention to the characters as you are setting them up. What is cliche about your characters? Don't give up until you find yourself able to list some answers to this question.
3) What is unsafe about this scene? In order to create tension, something about the scene needs to be "unsafe," creating an element of unpredictability, of danger, or risk (this applies even in a romantic comedy). If the heroine is sitting in her living room with her best friend complaining about work while they sip lattees, there's not a lot of tension. But what if you have her whispering in the break room at work, knowing that her boss might walk around the corner? Still not super exciting, but the tension has ratcheted up a notch. What if her boss is looking for a reason to fire her, so if he finds the heroine whispering about him, she'll lose her job? More tension. What if the heroine just took out a second mortgage on her home and will lose her house if she can't make the payments? Even more at stake. What if her boss is also her ex-boyfriend and her friend is a very hot guy that her boss is insanely jealous of, and if she knows the boss catches them together, he'll make life hellish for her best friend as well? Hmm... Suddenly alot more things are at stake, but you kept the basic concept of two friends complaining about work. Keep building and building until your simple scene is suddenly loaded with page turning tension. Like the first two tips, you'll have to keep revising what you've done a number of times, because each time through you'll see something you haven't noticed before. Sometimes it takes me three or four passes before I even see ANYTHING that needs fixing.
Look at your scene and decide what's important. Is the important part that the heroine and the roommate are bonding? Or that something is tough at work? Or that they are in their living room? Keep the important part, and then shift the setting to a less safe place. And "safety" is dependent on the heroine's point of view. A rock climber might find hanging upside off a cliff to be a non-threatening situation. But that same rock climber might have a phobia about crowds, so stick her in the middle of a commuter train at rush hour being jostled by a bunch of strangers. She's tense and we're worried about her well-being, and that adds tension to the scene.
Obviously, you can't do this level of review for every scene, but the more you can do it, the more you will start to see your patterns and the more you will instinctively look at scenes and know what needs to be done to amp it up.
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Deep POV
Today's tip is Deep POV, or my interpretation of Deep POV. I have to admit, I've never gone to a Deep POV workshop so I don't know if what I call Deep POV is what other people do, but I think so...
Anyhoodles, I think Deep POV is when you write as if you are in the character's head. There are no external tags. Just thoughts as your character would have them.
Example:
Not deep POV: Jared walked into the room. He's such a jerk, she thought. She wished his smug grin would shrivel up and die. She'd feel so much better if he was miserable.
Deep POV: Oh, great. So glad to know Jared had joined the party. Not. What a scum sucking toadstool. How cool would it be to see his smug grin shrivel up and die? Life would be so much better if he was miserable.
Okay, class, who can tell point out some differences between the two examples? I'll go first.
1) In the second example, there is no reference to the POV character. There are no "she thought" or "she wished." The absence of those tags, my friends, is a prime indicator of deep POV. When you are thinking thoughts, do you ever think "Wow, I thought." Of course you don't. You simply think, "Wow." So delete all those tags and simply have the thoughts.
2) In the first example, the first sentence is an intrusive filler inserted solely to convey information to the reader (that Jared is entering the room). It doesn't reveal anything about the POV character. It's boring. And it's not deep POV. Think about your brain for a second. If you were at a party and an ex-boyfriend walked in the room, would your first thought be "My ex-boyfriend walked into the room?" No. You would absorb his appearance subconsciously and your first thought would be your reaction to him walking into the room. So the trick in writing is to have that first thought be the character's reaction, but have it clear enough that it conveys the additional info you need, like the fact that Jared has just arrived at the party.
3) The first example has complete sentences and is properly written. The second one has fragments and is more disjointed. Why? Because you don't think in complete sentences or proper grammar. You think in fragments and your thoughts jump around. Of course, you don't want to write gibberish, so you need to balance the randomness of thoughts with your need to write something coherent, but don't get bogged down in the grammar lessons from high school. Sit for a moment and track your thoughts. Where do they go? How are they worded?
Writing exercise:
Take a longish paragraph from your WIP and do the following:
1) Delete every pronoun or name that refers to the POV character.
2) Cross off every sentence that is author intrusion where you are simply trying to give facts.
3) Rewrite without using a single pronoun, noun, or name to reference the POV character and without using a single sentence that is info dumping.
4) Compare the two. Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference in intensity and passion? I bet you can. If it was difficult to do, don't stress. With practice it will become more and more natural until you don't even think about it.
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Dialogue
You know those lists that occasionally circulate that give you about 6,000 synonyms for the word "said?" You know, words like, shouted, whispered, thundered, whined, etc? Well, gather all those lists together, walk to your paper shredder and toss 'em in. Then delete all those lists off your computer. You are never allowed to reference them again. Why? Because that's lazy writing.
Dialogue tags should be used only in the most dire of circumstances, when nothing else will do. They are weak, they are "telling" and any besides "said" can border on purple prose.
Ah, you ask, but how will the reader tell who is talking if I don't have tags? And how will they tell the speaker's attitude? Stephanie, you are such a dork.
Well, maybe I'm a dork, but I do have answers for your questions...
Use action instead of tags. Action will identify the speaker, and they will convey tone far better than a synonym for "said."
Example:
Using dialogue tags:
"Where have you been?" Jack thundered.
"None of your business," Missy yelped.
Using action tags:
Jack slammed the door open so hard it bounced off the wall, leaving a deep imprint in the paint. "Where have you been?"
Missy shoved the box behind her back and spun to face him. "None of your business."
See the difference? Dialogue tags in the first example show that Jack is shouting and Missy is yelping, but we don't know why. Is Missy scared or startled or injured or what? In the second example, there are no dialogue tags in the second example, but you know who is talking and you still get the message that Jack is fired up and Missy has issues. but you get far more information about Jack and Missy's emotions than you do in the first example.
In the second example, you also get the additional excitement of action. Action is always more interesting that static dialogue, plus it increases tension: Jack is so angry/upset/worried that he's slamming things around. Is he going to get violent with Missy? Do we need to worry about her? Is he going to break something? And what is Missy hiding? And why is she hiding it from Jack? All of a sudden, you have lots more questions and tension.
Go thru a dialogue scene in your manuscript and get rid of all dialogue tags. Every. Single. One. Then go back and add action tags, or eliminate some tags altogether to facilitate rapid-fire exchanges (as long as it's clear who is talking). See what you think of the difference.
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When the Going Gets Rough
Before I sold, I had the following:
over 130 rejections
over 95 contest entries
18 completed mss
8 partials
I faced a lot of failure. I saw so many people sell when I was getting rejections. I burned from so many harsh contest critiques. I had had my hopes crushed so many times. I was getting up at 4am to write before work. I was writing at lunch, at nights and on weekends. I was exhausted and so many times I thought I was done. I couldn't take one more rejection. I couldn't deal with one more manuscript not being good enough. So many times, I told myself it was the last ms I was going to write. If this one didn't sell, I was walking away.
But they didn't sell, and I kept writing another one.
Then one day, one sold. It was amazing, incredible, more than words can ever explain. But I never would have had that success if I'd given up.
There was one thing that really kept me going, and that was hope. Every morning, I woke up and knew that today could be the day.
Why? Because I always had stuff out there: contest entries, agent submissions, editor submissions. Every day that I received bad news, I hung in there because I knew I could get good news the next day, because I always had more stuff out there. And it worked. I can't tell you the number of times I was so low, only to get a request for a partial or find out I finalled in a contest. Don't send out one submission to one agent and wait.
Keep submitting to agents, to editors, to contest. Force those doors to open. Force good news to come your way. Maybe it's not a sale, but it'll be enough to boost you up and keep you going. Keep hope alive, because if you don't give up and you keep working to improve your craft, you will get there.
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Conferences
Here's my tip for conferences: Go.
End of post.
Just kidding. Well, sort of. I just got back from an RWA conference in Seattle and it was awesome. I almost didn't go because I was hip deep in revisions, I wasn't feeling the need to be inspired, and I was feeling a little stingy with the pocketbook. But the night before the conference, I finally just decided to go. Made the reservation, hopped in the car, and off I went.
And now that I'm back, I just keep shaking my head at what an idiot I would have been to stay home. It was a fantastic experience. Not only did I learn something important in EVERY SINGLE workshop I went to (open minds are awesome!), but I met some fabulous new people that I know I will keep in touch with, and I re-bonded with some folks I already knew. I picked up some key nuggets about the industry, I completely humiliated myself in one of the most embarrassing conference moments ever and lived to tell about it, I got inspired, I picked up some excellent tips for my own writing, I had a great time being surrounded by people who do what I do and think it's great, I got to watch some friends do some kick butt karayoke... the list goes on and on. I cannot even believe I considered not going. It's three hours away! There is no excuse for missing out!
Conferences are so amazing. You learn about craft, about the business, about the industry. You meet other writers and inspire them and gain inspiration in return. You learn from others, you give someone else an ah ha! moment that they will never forget. You are plunged right smack into the middle of the world that you labor over in the loneliness of your own room. There is simply no substitute for getting out there and learning, networking, pitching your book and embracing this path that you're on.
If you go to conferences, you will sell sooner and be more successful than if you never do. I feel so strongly about that, that I won't even qualify that by saying it's only my opinion.
Are you shy? Get over it. Go. All writers are introverts. Dig deep, find the courage, and go. You'll be astounded at how easy it is to get to know romance writers. They are wonderful, funny, caring and so willing to help out anyone with a question.
Are you short on money? So what? Pick a local conference, find cheap airfare, share a hotel room, present at the conference (speakers are often given breaks on their conference fee, and even if you're a newbie, you might be an expert on something in your other life that people would want to hear about), give up coffee and put all your coffee money in a shoebox until you've saved up enough to go, then GO.
Are you short on time? Find time. Your career will not be handed to you. You must force time into your schedule for writing and conferences and workshops, then guard that time ferociously.
Do you feel like you are at a place in your career where a conference is of no benefit to you? Get over yourself and go.
If you want to become a published author and have a career, go to at least one conference a year. Do it!
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C.Vogler & D.Swain
I was at a writers retreat this weekend and I got into a conversation with a few other writers about Christopher Vogler's book The Writer's Journey and Dwight's Swain's advice about Scene & Sequel.
Just because I'm feeling snarky, I'm going to cause some trouble here! Okay, *so many* extremely successful authors swear by Vogler and Swain. I'm talking NYT best sellers and all. As a newbie, I listened, I responded, I bought those books and I read those suckers. After reading Vogler, I looked at the mss I'd already written and thought "Holy moly! That's why I haven't sold! I've been jumping right into the action instead of setting up the ordinary world! Dork!"
I immediately rushed to the computer and changed how I did things. I spent time in that ordinary world. I did a beautiful job describing where they were, what their issues were, why they were frustrated etc. Chris would have been proud.
Then I sent them out. And guess what? More rejections, and they all said it was a pacing problem. It started off too slow!
I realized I was spending a bit too much time in the ordinary world, so I cut it down.
Still had pacing problems.
Cut more.
Still had pacing problems.
Finally, four or five manuscripts later, after suffering more rejections and hearing editors say they can't stand getting books based on the Hero's Journey, I realized that in today's genre fiction market, there is no place for starting with the ordinary world. You have to start right smack in the middle of the action. In the middle of the moment that will change that character's life forever. What about the ordinary world, you ask? Well, this is ALL you're allowed to do with it: one sentence here. One sentence there. One sentence at a time until eventually, by page 200, you have fully educated the reader as to all the past and backstory and ordinary world that they need to know. My rule of thumb: if the reader doesn't need to know the backstory/past/ordinary world to understand what is going on or why something is important, then they don't need to know it yet, which means you aren't allowed to put it in the story yet. It's okay if the reader is chock full of questions about what's going--that's the whole point of a great book! Unanswered questions make the reader turn the page because they need to know. But the reader can't be so confused that they close the book or think the heroine is a psycho bitch because you haven't explained her motivation. For that reason, you're allowed to drop a hint here and there as is necessary. BUT NO MORE!
My lesson? I learned that the Vogler thing didn't work for me. I shut that book, put it away, and have been happily surprised to learn I'm not the only author who had to do the same thing.
Part Deux: Dwight Swain's scene & sequel
Okay, I admit, I never read much of this book. I bought it, I think it's still on my shelf, but heaven help me, I couldn't get through it. Now that I know more about it, I'm so glad I didn't because I fear it would have set my writing back the way Vogler did. Why? Because of that pesky scene & sequel thing.
Before I completely diss the S&S thing, please note that plenty of successful authors do subscribe religiously to the S&S bit, so if you like it and it works for you, keep it up. But here's my opinion: scene & sequel is outdated and should best relegated to a museum setting, at least if you're trying to sell genre fiction. I can't tell you the number of editors I have spoken to that have told me that. Why? Because today's audience demands fast paced stories, action, page-turning suspense (even in a non-suspense novel). If you have a sequel in which your character spends several pages ruminating on the previous action scene, guess what? Snore.
Yes, your characters need to have a response to whatever earth-shattering event happened to them in the last scene. But that response should be part of the action of the next scene. Do NOT have the boring sequels where the heroine is pondering the meaning of life while sitting in traffic. Have the heroine pondering the meaning of life as she slams her car into the side of her stalker's truck because she simply won't accept being threatened anymore. So there, you b*stard! See the difference?
So there we go. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Look Beneath the Surface
There's this writer. I think she's an amazing talent. She has sold book after book after book. To my knowledge, she's never had a book rejected. Each book published does better than the last. How come it's so easy for her? Why can't I have her success?
These thoughts used to go through my mind every time I thought of this author. Yes, I bought all her books, but deep down inside of me, I got this knot everything I saw her name anywhere. Yep, you got it, the knot was jealousy augmented with a healthy dose of insecurity. Not only was she better than I was in all ways, but she hadn't had to suffer at all. This author had it all, and no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to catch up to her. Comparing my career and talents to hers was unhealthy, and frankly, it stifled me creatively because I was so busy being cranky and feeling like a loser in comparison to her.
Then one day I found out something about this author's personal life. Something awful. Something I would never, ever, ever want to happen to me. From then on, everything changed. Every sale, every list, every success this author had? I thought, "Have at it, girlfriend. I'll take my struggles over yours any day."
Lesson learned.
Don't waste time being jealous of people. They might seem like they have it all, but I'll bet if you look closely enough, they're dealing with something that you wouldn't want even if it came with all the success in the world.
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Using POV to Make Your Characters Stand Out
How many of us have ever had a rejection in which the agent/editor says "Loved the premise, but your characters all sound the same?"
Um, me! I'm raising my hand!
The trick to making your characters sound different is to bury yourself really deeply in their head. Become them. Think like they would thinks. Speak like they would speak. Use words they would use. Today we're going to focus on using POV to make your characters stand out from each other.
For example:
A red pickup truck comes peeling around the corner, being driven by the guy from down the street. How would your characters react?
Your hero might notice the following:
- that the truck is sweet
- the engine sounds like it has been seriously taken care of and he'd love to see under that hood
- that the driver is the guy down the street and he has a hard-on for the heroine and is coming to cause trouble
Your heroine might notice the following:
- that truck is coming too close to her flowerbeds and nothing else matters
- that the jerk is gunning his truck too loud and he should be citated for noise pollution
- that she knows who owns that truck and she hopes her makeup still looks good
How does this translate into your story? Well, first, you must determine whose point of view you're in when the truck rolls around the corner. If you're the hero's POV, then all your descriptions of the truck better be what he'd be thinking (see above). If you're in the heroine's POV, then her observations better be what she'd really be thinking (see above).
Next, think about whether there's some detail that you really want to reader to learn. If so, you need to make sure that your POV character would truly notice that detail... (see below for examples):
If it's super important that the reader understand that the truck has been modified for serious off-roading because there have been some bad crimes done in some areas accessible only by 4WD cars, you'd better make sure that the POV character is someone who would really notice that the truck has been souped up. Is our heroine going to be thinking about that if she's freaking out that her prize winning roses are about to get munched? No.
If it's really important for the reader to understand that the truck is being driven recklessly, then make sure the POV character who's observing the reckless driving would truly notice it. A hero who's only concerned about the sweet new tires on the truck would notice how well the truck cornered on those new wheels, not whether the driver took the corner too quickly, but our flower-obsessed heroine would certainly notice the reckless driving. So pick your POV character depending on what information you want the reader to have, and then make sure that the observations of that character match what they'd really notice based on who they are and what they're feeling at the moment.
Other examples:
Most guys aren't going to know the different types of flowers or the names of different fabrics. So if you want the reader to know that the heroine is wearing a pale chartreuse chiffon gown with a corsage of day lilies, then you'd better not be in the hero's POV unless he owns a flower store and designs women's clothes on the side. What would he notice? He'd notice that her breasts look magnificent in that low-cut red dress of sin.
If there's a bar fight going on and you want the reader to understand that the bad guy is more skilled at combat than he should be, you better make sure that you're in the POV of someone who would notice that. If the heroine has just been knocked out and is about to have her throat slit by some a**hole, the hero is not going to be sitting around observing the fighting talents of the man in black off to the right. He's going to be rushing to the heroine's rescue. If the heroine is watching the hero in the middle of the fight, she's going to be worried about his safety and watching for threats to his safety, not engaging in a thoughtful analysis of the combative skills of one of the opponents.
At all times, you need to be thinking about whose head you're in, and you need to make sure that every thought, every observation, every emotion is one that THAT character would have. If their natural response won't pick up the information you want the reader to have, then you need to change POV characters or adjust the situation so the character will be forced to notice that detail, even if it's not really in their nature to do so.